My Dad and I (circa June 1994) at my undergrad Graduation from Simon Fraser University.

I will come out and say it plain and simple – I am missing my Dad a lot right now.   Not wanting to be a “downer”, but it is true.   Though the wedding planning process has been fun and exciting and challenging and such, it has also brought me really bold-faced with the reality that when my wedding day comes in 14 days – he will not be there.    I know on that day, I will and do have a multitude of reasons to be happy on many many fronts, but I am going to be honest that with it will be tinged a hint of melancholy for those that will not be there.

I am SUPER blessed to have my Mom who has been incredibly supportive of Iain and I from the very beginning.    She has also been really supportive of us as we have gone through the excitement and challenges of developing the wedding plans.  We are also very glad that she is going to be able to join us from British Columbia along with my Aunt, both coming in from BC about 10 days before the wedding, for the wedding day and a bit afterwards.

That all being said, I just wish he was going to be there, to see the smile of pride on his face as he sits there with my Mom to witness his son marrying his best friend and the love of his life – much like it was when he married my Mom over 45 years ago.   Amongst other things – my Dad (and my Mom, too) showed me the example of how to be in a marriage – deeply committed, deeply loving and deeply giving – not only to each other but also to those around them.   The funny part of what was just mentioned is that he was a man of few words – so didn’t say “I love you” very often – but I knew it through his actions as his actions spoken louder than words.   The example of how to be in a marriage is something I hope to carry on through the many years ahead with Iain.     Many times over the last 12+ years I have wanted to call him and ask him a question, many times I have wanted to just hear his voice again, or to hear him say he was proud of me.   In the lead up to the wedding, I have wanted to talk to him and hear his wisdom again.   As I was talking with a friend recently I was excitedly speaking about the wedding and they asked when my Mom was arriving and I said “Mom and Dad will be….” and I stopped in mid-sentence and nearly “lost it” emotionally…. as it had been the first time in a long time that I have said something like that – having gotten used to not mentioning him in situations like that.

Dad, I know you will be there in spirit.   You will be there in the hearts and minds of those who knew you and loved you.   You are always remembered, always missed and always and forever loved.

The United Kingdom finally ushered in a new era of marriage equality this week with the House of Lords approving legislation.

• Peers approve legislation
• Q&A: Marriage Equality

I find the UK case interesting as the UK already had Civil Unions.  However, many people have called for actual marriage.  Why?

From the Q&A link above –

Civil partnership is a legal relationship exclusively for same-sex couples, distinct from marriage. It offers the same legal treatment as marriage across a range of matters, such as inheritance, pensions provision, life assurance, child maintenance, next of kin and immigration rights. Opposite-sex couples can opt for a religious or civil marriage ceremony, whereas a same-sex partnership is an exclusively civil procedure. Couples in civil partnerships will be able to convert their relationships into marriages if they wish – but they will be under no obligation to do so if they would rather retain their civil partnership.

So, in many respects it is the same thing – except why call it something different for something that is pretty much the same?

I’ve actually suggested that maybe “civil union” and “marriage” be two different parts of a wedding.  Civil union being the legal representation, the formality of all the government paperwork that’s got to be done; where marriage would be the church-side of things.  That way everyone has a “civil union”, and you can choose to have the “marriage ceremony”.

That is a loaded subject.

As a British citizen, I am very proud of the UK finally taking things to the next level for marriage equality.  It actually means it would be easier for Scott to become a British Citizen and easier for both of us to move to the UK if we wanted to.  We don’t have any plans to at this point, but it would be a fun experience.

An interesting thing to note – I’ve shifted my use of language from calling it “gay marriage” to “marriage equality”.  It’s a term I picked up, courtesy of Michelangelo Signorile, a well known activist and Sirius-XM Out Q personality.

There really is nothing gay about what Scott and I are going to do, really.  Ok, we happen to be two men who happen to be gay getting married.  But it’s about levelling the playing field and creating equality for same sex couples.  Thankfully, in Canada, we’ve had marriage equality for 10 years.

As a friend of mine just said:  What people will do to show the world how devoted they are to each other, against all odds.

Here is a great article about two men, John Arthur and Jim Obergefell, who recently got married after over 20 years together.  Unfortunately they could not get married in Ohio, but went to Maryland.

The catch is, John lives with ALS, a terminal illness.  The hospice where John lives grants it’s patients with a “perfect day”.  Click on the article below to read about their perfect day including a video of their day.

Terminally-Ill OH Man Marries Husband at MD Airport

… for getting rid of DOMA (Defence of Marriage Act) and for pretty much putting an end to Proposition 8 in California that denied same sex couples – who were already married, and those who wanted to marry a chance to marry.

For all of you about to attend your first gay weddings – here is some advice, courtesy of Saturday Night Live:

If this video doesn’t play – click here.

As if Uruguay and France weren’t enough, New Zealand passed same-sex marriage legislation – the first in the Asia-Pacific.

Following the vote, the public gallery and even the members of parliament broke into song, singing the traditional Maori love song “Pokarekare Ana“. See below:

Some great points from this NZ MP – absolutely brilliant, love this:

This week, along with Uruguay, France’s senate voted to legalize same-sex marriage and to allow same-sex couples to adopt.  Not without some controversy.

I didn’t specifically want to make this blog political, after all it is supposed to be about celebration, but I can’t ignore what is happening in the rest of the world.

While in Canada we had it relatively easy with support for same-sex marriage, other places in the world are still struggling.  Despite France voting for gay marriage, there is still a lot of protesting and needless violence going on around the world.

• French Senate Passes Gay Marriage Bill – France’s justice minister, one of the bill’s loudest supporters, said the reform recognizes that many children are already living with same-sex parents and deserve the same protections afforded children of opposite-sex parents.  “These are children that scrape their knees, eat too much candy, don’t like broccoli, drive you crazy… we protect them,” Christine Taubira told senators following the vote.  The justice minister said the reform will “move our institutions towards ever more freedom, equality and personal respect.”
• French marriage equality bill met with threats of violence
• France Gay Marriage Debate Prompts Homophobic Assaults – Wilfred de Bruijn’s face is bloated, seeped in blood, his bruised right eye shut tight, his tooth broken — the victim of a brutal attack in Paris while he was “walking arm in arm” with his boyfriend.
• Gay Marriage Law Passes Crucial Vote In France – For the past six months, hundreds of thousands have participated in demonstrations in opposition of marriage equality. Most of the opposition is backed by conservative religious institutions, which claim the legislation will create psychological and social problems for children.