A tale of two toasting flutes

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Courtesy of Macy's

Courtesy of Macy’s

Scott and I were at The Bay yesterday picking up some stuff and I stumbled on two toasting flutes that I fell in love with from Ralph Lauren’s Watchband line.

That line is being discontinued and for whatever reason, the champagne flutes are hard to find.  You can find the martini shakers, bar sets, etc… No flutes.  They’re gorgeous, so I could understand why they may have gone so quickly.

Checking at Sherway – they reported 1 box left, but couldn’t find it, and they weren’t about to sell us the display model.  Queen St – 1 or 2 left; Bloor and Yonge – up to 7 boxes left.  Awesome!  And one was put aside for us.

So we drove from Sherway to Bloor-Yonge thinking we had enough time with a stop at Costco.  Toronto traffic being what it is, we didn’t get to the store until 6:55pm with Scott being told the store was closed – which happens at 7:00pm.  Oh well, the world won’t end.

Today I had a volunteer meeting from 2pm to 6pm so thought I’d go down to the store first.  Leaving at 11:15am I had more than enough time to get to the store.

Nope!  The Toronto Triathalon, some street fair at Lansdowne and Bloor, and a street fair at Yonge-Dundas Square -Traffic was completely snarled in the city.  Lesson learned – I should have taken public transit, which would have given me ample time for everything and less stress.

Two hours later, I got to the store…

To be told they couldn’t find the glasses, despite them being set aside for us supposedly.  They weren’t.

I also had some fun with them asking if I was the groom, to which my response was, “There are two grooms” and then being asked what the bride’s name was, to which my response was “Scott”.  As someone said, “At the gayest Hudson’s Bay in the country?”  Given it’s close proximity to Toronto’s Gay Village on Church St, one would expect them to be more up on alternative relationships.  We certainly had no issues at the Sherway Gardens store.

So I left, feeling disappointed, especially after three or so hours of driving if you count the two trips to the store.

I left and called up Darlene at Sherway Gardens (She’s AWESOME!) and she said that she’d do what she could to find us the flutes. After talking with Darlene, there was a message waiting for me saying, “Oh we found them!”  Great!  I can’t pick them up today…

But I did.  My meeting ended early and I was able to get to the store and…

  • Look at the flutes and determine they weren’t scratched or anything.
  • The first one looked prefect!
  • The second one looked prefect until… I heard a crack when putting the second one away.  &#@%!  Yes, I cracked the flute putting it away!
  • Never fear – the store found a replacement flute.  *PHEW*

Here’s the great thing.  We got a massive deal on these – that I didn’t know about until the flutes were rung in. Regularly $85 – taking 80% off for the last box in the store, plus 10% off for the registry – We got them for $16!

Sometimes life throws you some curve balls and challenges, but they’re rewarding.

So that said – if you’re in the market for crystal, stores like The Bay often have some amazing deals on last sets of glassware.  So keep an eye out.

Congrats to Dave and Mark!

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I totally lifted this from Facebook.

I totally lifted this from Facebook.

The end of June was huge for the United States with the Supreme Court of the United States ending the Defence of Marriage Act and putting a stop to the Proposition 8 challenge, for now.

With this, it opened up marriage again in California for many same-sex couples.

One of these couples includes our friends Dave and Mark.

As a result of these changes – July 20th, 2013 is their wedding day. Mark and Dave have been together for about the same amount of time as Scott and I have.

This is also huge for Dave and Mark as it reduces the worries about Mark staying in the United States.  With DOMA being thrown out, it means Mark, a Canadian citizen, can apply to stay in the United States permanently.  This is a couple that has one less worry about whether or not Mark will be allowed to stay in the US.  They still have the green card process to get through, but it should be considerably easier now that their relationship is recognised.

Couples, families, have less worries about being torn apart because their relationships are now recognized.  They’re no longer invisible.  And writing this has me tearing up. *GRIN*

I think Canadians have somewhat taken marriage equality for granted.  It’s almost like it was a shoe in – we’re Canada, good things happen here.  But witnessing the struggle that Americans have had, and what Dave and Mark have had to go through for years, it has really made me take stock of what we have up here in Canada and realize that it’s not something to be taken for granted.

Dave and Mark will be at our wedding in August.  Please be sure to congratulate them when you meet them.

 

UK Upgraded from Civil Union to Marriage!

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photo

 

The United Kingdom finally ushered in a new era of marriage equality this week with the House of Lords approving legislation.

I find the UK case interesting as the UK already had Civil Unions.  However, many people have called for actual marriage.  Why?

From the Q&A link above –

Civil partnership is a legal relationship exclusively for same-sex couples, distinct from marriage. It offers the same legal treatment as marriage across a range of matters, such as inheritance, pensions provision, life assurance, child maintenance, next of kin and immigration rights. Opposite-sex couples can opt for a religious or civil marriage ceremony, whereas a same-sex partnership is an exclusively civil procedure. Couples in civil partnerships will be able to convert their relationships into marriages if they wish – but they will be under no obligation to do so if they would rather retain their civil partnership.

So, in many respects it is the same thing – except why call it something different for something that is pretty much the same?

I’ve actually suggested that maybe “civil union” and “marriage” be two different parts of a wedding.  Civil union being the legal representation, the formality of all the government paperwork that’s got to be done; where marriage would be the church-side of things.  That way everyone has a “civil union”, and you can choose to have the “marriage ceremony”.

That is a loaded subject.

As a British citizen, I am very proud of the UK finally taking things to the next level for marriage equality.  It actually means it would be easier for Scott to become a British Citizen and easier for both of us to move to the UK if we wanted to.  We don’t have any plans to at this point, but it would be a fun experience.

An interesting thing to note – I’ve shifted my use of language from calling it “gay marriage” to “marriage equality”.  It’s a term I picked up, courtesy of Michelangelo Signorile, a well known activist and Sirius-XM Out Q personality.

There really is nothing gay about what Scott and I are going to do, really.  Ok, we happen to be two men who happen to be gay getting married.  But it’s about levelling the playing field and creating equality for same sex couples.  Thankfully, in Canada, we’ve had marriage equality for 10 years.

Ramping up

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Image 1Scott and I are slowly starting to ramp up on the wedding plans as we took some downtime from the kitchen renovation, a weekend in Ottawa, Toronto Pride and a freak thunderstorm.  Personally, I’m waiting for the zombies to appear.

And that said, I realize we are completely way behind on updating our blog!

Pride week is a big week and weekend for Scott and me.  We actually met on the Saturday of Toronto Pride 1997 as seen in the picture to the left.

Yes, that’s Scott with dyed blonde hair and a much younger version of myself – 26 (almost 27) and 23, respectively.  We chose to re-create the picture at Pride this year.  Much thanks to Paul Ciantar for taking the picture!

IMG_5296Pride Monday, though, is also a significant event for us.  When Scott was working at The Hospital for Sick Children and I was working at Nortel, we worked across the road from each other.  As such, we would attend the Pride Flag raising at Toronto City Hall each year – until 9 years ago when I started working in Mississauga and couldn’t attend, although I am contemplating making it a regular long weekend for Scott and me because…

…Monday was the day that we also picked up our marriage license!  Not only that, but it was also 60 days to the actual wedding day.

It was a painless process and we had a nice surprise in that our friend Michel was the person that registered our paperwork and everything.

So needless to say, we have the paperwork.

Our Premier, Kalthleen Wynne, looked fabulous in her white dress.  And yes, that is Dougie Ford with a pride flag in hand.  It’s interesting seeing how gregarious he is relative to his brother who couldn’t get back to City Hall quick enough after reading the Pride Week proclamation.

Of course, the big news that week was that the Supreme Court of the United States rejected DOMA (Defence of Marriage Act) and dismissed Proposition 8 in California.  While it doesn’t affect Scott and I directly, although I will feel considerably more comfortable and will with pride declare Scott as my husband when we go through US Customs, we do have a lot of affinity for marriage equality in the United States and feel for those fighting against all of the stupid and inane arguments that people come up with.  We’ve had marriage equality in Canada for 10 years now, and we’re still together as a nation, lightning hasn’t struck us, etc…

So congratulations to our friends in the US.  I already know of one wedding-related event Scott and I will be attending in the Bay Area this year.

Back to our planning:

  • We’ve figured out clothing for what we and our groomsmen are wearing.
  • We’ve figured out one reading and we’re looking at another.
  • Our food planning is coming along and I am hoping to meet this week or next week on the food plans.
  • We have one piece of clothing that is being made for us, for the reception, that we’re finalizing and should be done in about two weeks.
  • We’re figuring out the bonboniere, which will most definitely be representative of us and our community of friends, family and coworkers.  Like I said, this is going to be a different wedding.
  • We’re slowly figuring out flowers.
  • Tonight I spent time figuring out what music will be played and when during the ceremony.
  • Our colours are blue, yellow and white.

And there you go!  That’s out update.

A perfect day…

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As a friend of mine just said:  What people will do to show the world how devoted they are to each other, against all odds.

Here is a great article about two men, John Arthur and Jim Obergefell, who recently got married after over 20 years together.  Unfortunately they could not get married in Ohio, but went to Maryland.

The catch is, John lives with ALS, a terminal illness.  The hospice where John lives grants it’s patients with a “perfect day”.  Click on the article below to read about their perfect day including a video of their day.

Terminally-Ill OH Man Marries Husband at MD Airport

 

Congratulations to the United States…

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… for getting rid of DOMA (Defence of Marriage Act) and for pretty much putting an end to Proposition 8 in California that denied same sex couples – who were already married, and those who wanted to marry a chance to marry.

For all of you about to attend your first gay weddings – here is some advice, courtesy of Saturday Night Live:

If this video doesn’t play – click here.

What to wear…

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KELLY LONDONI provide this guide to all the guys out there who are being dressed by their wives or husbands, who are insisting that they dress up as formal as possible, yadda yadda yadda.

Here is my personal guide to helping you to be comfortable at our wedding.  Consider it CAaaS- Clothing Advice as a Service.

The two most important points I can make are:

  • Dress how you wish, that represents you.  Scott and I have friends from all walks of life and I can guarantee people will be dressed in a way that represents them.  In fact, the regular ambience of our church is about bringing yourself, rather than your sunday best.
  • image001Scott and I will not be wearing ties, nor jackets – neither will our groomsmen.  The church will be warm in August, and I know if I can get out from wearing a tie, I absolutely will.  Surprising given as a younger man, I actually didn’t mind wearing a shirt and tie, or even a sport jacket.  Do yourself a favor, dress cool and comfortable – your wives or husbands too.

And for the record, if you see a bearded man with a very colourful outfit with bells on, do not fear, that’s probably just my uncle in his Morris Dancing Fools outfit.  He’s mostly harmless. *GRIN*

I admit – I’ve always wanted an Issey Miyaki blow up jacket.

A history of the afternoon tea party

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Illustration of "A Mad Tea Party" in chapter in Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland in which Alice meets the Mad Hatter, the March Hare and the Dormouse. Text on Hatter's hat reads "In this style 10/6". Illustratuon by John Tenniel.

Illustration of “A Mad Tea Party” in chapter in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland in which Alice meets the Mad Hatter, the March Hare and the Dormouse. Text on Hatter’s hat reads “In this style 10/6”.
Illustratuon by John Tenniel.

Some people have asked me, “What is an English Tea Reception?”

There are a number of sites that cover this topic, but before I cover this, I will share a story from 1985, when I was 11 years old travelling in England with my mother and sister.  It was the first time I had ever been outside of Canada and it set the stage for my love of travel and trying different things.

My mother, which many of you will meet, and some of you have met, was driving us all over England for two weeks, following my Aunt, Uncle and cousins who had been living in Europe, from New Forest, covering parts in The South, all the way up to Manchester.  It was an amazing trip for me, visiting two countries – England and Wales (very briefly).

Mum insisted on stopping, almost, everywhere for English afternoon tea including, of course, tea – you can’t forget tea; scones, clotted cream and jam.  The stops grew increasingly frequent and by the time the trip was nearly over:

  • Every time we saw a cow, Robyn and I would say, “Oh look, there’s a cream tea!”
  • I got so tired of drinking tea, I started requesting coffee.

From “Afternoon to Remember“:

While drinking tea as a fashionable event is credited to Catharine of Braganza, the actual taking of tea in the afternoon developed into a new social event some time in the late 1830’s and early 1840’s. Jane Austen hints of afternoon tea as early as 1804 in an unfinished novel. It is said that the afternoon tea tradition was established by Anne, Duchess of Bedford. She requested that light sandwiches be brought to her in the late afternoon because she had a “sinking feeling” during that time because of the long gap between meals. She began to invite others to join her and thus became the tradition.

There various tea times as described by the website:

  • Cream Tea — A simple tea consisting of scones, clotted cream, marmalade or lemon curd and tea.
  • Low Tea/Afternoon Tea — An afternoon meal including sandwiches, scones, clotted cream, curd, 2-3 sweets and tea. Known as “low tea” because guests were seated in low armchairs with low side-tables on which to place their cups and saucers.
  • Elevensies — Morning coffee hour in England
  • Royale Tea — A social tea served with champagne at the beginning or sherry at the end of the tea.
  • High Tea — High tea connotates an idea of elegancy and regal-ness when in fact is was an evening meal most often enjoyed around 6 pm as laborers and miners returned home. High tea consists of meat and potatoes as well as other foods and tea. It was not exclusively a working class meal but was adopted by all social groups. Families with servants often took high tea on Sundays in order to allow the maids and butlers time to go to church and not worry about cooking an evening meal for the family.

So we are actually having a Low Tea/Afternoon Tea, or what some may call a Full Tea.

A few more sites that cover English Tea:

Kia ora New Zealand!

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As if Uruguay and France weren’t enough, New Zealand passed same-sex marriage legislation – the first in the Asia-Pacific.

Following the vote, the public gallery and even the members of parliament broke into song, singing the traditional Maori love song “Pokarekare Ana“. See below:

Some great points from this NZ MP – absolutely brilliant, love this: