Congratulations to the United States…

… for getting rid of DOMA (Defence of Marriage Act) and for pretty much putting an end to Proposition 8 in California that denied same sex couples – who were already married, and those who wanted to marry a chance to marry.

For all of you about to attend your first gay weddings – here is some advice, courtesy of Saturday Night Live:

If this video doesn’t play – click here.

What to wear…

KELLY LONDONI provide this guide to all the guys out there who are being dressed by their wives or husbands, who are insisting that they dress up as formal as possible, yadda yadda yadda.

Here is my personal guide to helping you to be comfortable at our wedding.  Consider it CAaaS- Clothing Advice as a Service.

The two most important points I can make are:

  • Dress how you wish, that represents you.  Scott and I have friends from all walks of life and I can guarantee people will be dressed in a way that represents them.  In fact, the regular ambience of our church is about bringing yourself, rather than your sunday best.
  • image001Scott and I will not be wearing ties, nor jackets – neither will our groomsmen.  The church will be warm in August, and I know if I can get out from wearing a tie, I absolutely will.  Surprising given as a younger man, I actually didn’t mind wearing a shirt and tie, or even a sport jacket.  Do yourself a favor, dress cool and comfortable – your wives or husbands too.

And for the record, if you see a bearded man with a very colourful outfit with bells on, do not fear, that’s probably just my uncle in his Morris Dancing Fools outfit.  He’s mostly harmless. *GRIN*

I admit – I’ve always wanted an Issey Miyaki blow up jacket.

A history of the afternoon tea party

Illustration of "A Mad Tea Party" in chapter in Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland in which Alice meets the Mad Hatter, the March Hare and the Dormouse. Text on Hatter's hat reads "In this style 10/6". Illustratuon by John Tenniel.

Illustration of “A Mad Tea Party” in chapter in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland in which Alice meets the Mad Hatter, the March Hare and the Dormouse. Text on Hatter’s hat reads “In this style 10/6”.
Illustratuon by John Tenniel.

Some people have asked me, “What is an English Tea Reception?”

There are a number of sites that cover this topic, but before I cover this, I will share a story from 1985, when I was 11 years old travelling in England with my mother and sister.  It was the first time I had ever been outside of Canada and it set the stage for my love of travel and trying different things.

My mother, which many of you will meet, and some of you have met, was driving us all over England for two weeks, following my Aunt, Uncle and cousins who had been living in Europe, from New Forest, covering parts in The South, all the way up to Manchester.  It was an amazing trip for me, visiting two countries – England and Wales (very briefly).

Mum insisted on stopping, almost, everywhere for English afternoon tea including, of course, tea – you can’t forget tea; scones, clotted cream and jam.  The stops grew increasingly frequent and by the time the trip was nearly over:

  • Every time we saw a cow, Robyn and I would say, “Oh look, there’s a cream tea!”
  • I got so tired of drinking tea, I started requesting coffee.

From “Afternoon to Remember“:

While drinking tea as a fashionable event is credited to Catharine of Braganza, the actual taking of tea in the afternoon developed into a new social event some time in the late 1830’s and early 1840’s. Jane Austen hints of afternoon tea as early as 1804 in an unfinished novel. It is said that the afternoon tea tradition was established by Anne, Duchess of Bedford. She requested that light sandwiches be brought to her in the late afternoon because she had a “sinking feeling” during that time because of the long gap between meals. She began to invite others to join her and thus became the tradition.

There various tea times as described by the website:

  • Cream Tea — A simple tea consisting of scones, clotted cream, marmalade or lemon curd and tea.
  • Low Tea/Afternoon Tea — An afternoon meal including sandwiches, scones, clotted cream, curd, 2-3 sweets and tea. Known as “low tea” because guests were seated in low armchairs with low side-tables on which to place their cups and saucers.
  • Elevensies — Morning coffee hour in England
  • Royale Tea — A social tea served with champagne at the beginning or sherry at the end of the tea.
  • High Tea — High tea connotates an idea of elegancy and regal-ness when in fact is was an evening meal most often enjoyed around 6 pm as laborers and miners returned home. High tea consists of meat and potatoes as well as other foods and tea. It was not exclusively a working class meal but was adopted by all social groups. Families with servants often took high tea on Sundays in order to allow the maids and butlers time to go to church and not worry about cooking an evening meal for the family.

So we are actually having a Low Tea/Afternoon Tea, or what some may call a Full Tea.

A few more sites that cover English Tea:

Kia ora New Zealand!

As if Uruguay and France weren’t enough, New Zealand passed same-sex marriage legislation – the first in the Asia-Pacific.

Following the vote, the public gallery and even the members of parliament broke into song, singing the traditional Maori love song “Pokarekare Ana“. See below:

Some great points from this NZ MP – absolutely brilliant, love this:

France Marriage Equality

This week, along with Uruguay, France’s senate voted to legalize same-sex marriage and to allow same-sex couples to adopt.  Not without some controversy.

I didn’t specifically want to make this blog political, after all it is supposed to be about celebration, but I can’t ignore what is happening in the rest of the world.

While in Canada we had it relatively easy with support for same-sex marriage, other places in the world are still struggling.  Despite France voting for gay marriage, there is still a lot of protesting and needless violence going on around the world.

  • French Senate Passes Gay Marriage Bill – France’s justice minister, one of the bill’s loudest supporters, said the reform recognizes that many children are already living with same-sex parents and deserve the same protections afforded children of opposite-sex parents.  “These are children that scrape their knees, eat too much candy, don’t like broccoli, drive you crazy… we protect them,” Christine Taubira told senators following the vote.  The justice minister said the reform will “move our institutions towards ever more freedom, equality and personal respect.”
  • French marriage equality bill met with threats of violence
  • France Gay Marriage Debate Prompts Homophobic Assaults – Wilfred de Bruijn’s face is bloated, seeped in blood, his bruised right eye shut tight, his tooth broken — the victim of a brutal attack in Paris while he was “walking arm in arm” with his boyfriend.
  • Gay Marriage Law Passes Crucial Vote In France – For the past six months, hundreds of thousands have participated in demonstrations in opposition of marriage equality. Most of the opposition is backed by conservative religious institutions, which claim the legislation will create psychological and social problems for children.

Matrimonio igualitario en Uruguay!

Planning a wedding, going through a kitchen renovation, renovating our laundry room…

On the wedding front, our invites have arrived and we’ll be mailing them out in May.  For those in farther places, maybe earlier.

But in other news, today, el Senado voted 23 to 8 in favour of marriage equality. It still has one more step before it comes law, and it sounds like it is expected to pass.299252

Uruguay will be the second country in South America to support gay marriage.  Argentina was first.

I spent 7 to 8 weeks in Montevideo last year and I’m very pleased to see how progressive Uruguay has been, in South America and Latin America, on gay and trans rights.  Support for adoption, recognizing change in gender for trans-folk, and supporting civil unions (which is different from marriage).

Matrimonio gay por amplia mayoría

As with any wedding plans…

photoAs with any wedding plans, sometimes there are hiccups.

We had a hiccup with our rings.  In short, for the rings we chose, they could not get Scott’s size in.  Never fear – there are alternatives!  And we found an alternative, in the same material with a similar style.  We finally picked the rings up on Friday and they fit perfectly. Again, if you’re looking for a great jeweller, Scott and I won’t hesitate to recommend Ben Moss at Sherway Gardens, they were awesome to work with.

On the cake front, it was recommended that we go to For the Love of Cake in the Liberty Village area of Toronto.  Genevieve and Adam were awesome to work with, and their cupcakes are divine.  I know our cake is going to be awesome.  Check out the picture of the Mario and Peach wedding cake they did to the right.  Amazing detail, and reasonable too.

As much as I want to spill as many details as I want, my lips are sealed over what the cake is going to be and look like.  Needless to say, we came up with the ideas very quickly.

We got the food all finalized, and we’re finalizing the plans, times and such with the church and reception hall.  The only thing left to figure out is what clothes we’re going to wear, what the table decorations will be and to send out the invitations.

I’ve been chomping at the bit to send out the invitations and Scott has been holding me back – LOL!  We do have the design and pretty much everything is ready to go.  We just need to print them up and send them.  WOOHOO!

August can’t come soon enough!

I am a foodie

Scott enjoying some form of food item

Scott enjoying some form of food item

Over the past 16 years, Scott has taught me much about being a foodie.  And he’s learned that my nickname is “Dyson” – an upgrade from “Hoover” many years ago.

Yes, I eat quickly.  Yes, I do taste food and I enjoy it, but food, for me, is about sustenance and energy to do what I do in my daily life.  It’s not necessarily about savouring and a particular scene from “When Harry Met Sally”, which wasn’t really about the food anyway.

I digress – Today we did the tasting with Herrera’s Catering.  We picked Herrera’s because of friends of ours have used them in the past, we’ve had their food before, as well it’s run by the sister of a friend of ours.  Why wouldn’t we go with them?

Ian from Herrera’s has helped us to feel considerably relaxed as we pick menu items and such for our day, assisting with food allergies that friends of ours have, etc…

Now as much as I want to gush and give you details about the food… Scott and I have agreed that we are not giving anything away.  Nope, my mouth is shut – I’m not telling you anything about what we have planned.  Some of you will already know the general details, but I’m not going to say anything further.  It’s different, it’s not your standard fare for a wedding, but it’s also classic.

When we arrived, several dishes were laid out for Scott and I to try absolutely everything on the menu that we picked for the day.

As I tried the first piece of about sixteen, an appetizer, my inner foodie came out and started dancing describing how you get a high note of mint that melds into… that finishes off with… and marries with…

And the look on Scott’s face was priceless, and he said, “What happened to my husband? When did you become and start talking like a foodie?”

Yes, I’m secretly a foodie and Scott had never heard me describe food in such ways.  It’s all about context for me.  I’m there for a tasting, not for a free meal – which really isn’t a free meal anyway as we’re going with them for our catering, and remember – there’s no such thing as a free meal.

I gotta say, the food was amazing.  Meeting Dean, the Executive Chef, who explained everything that was being served was great – a chance to see who is behind the great food.  The rest was for Scott and I to eat and yay or nay.  Everything was yayed!  It was fantastic, and there’s something for everyone – vegetarian, gluten free, chocolate lovers, etc…

You won’t be disappointed, that’s for sure.

The desserts, wow perfect size, and my mother and sister will be way more than pleased – and one of the desserts that is being served is a favourite of theirs.

Out of all the food items – one stood out.  All I am allowed to say is, “It’s like thanksgiving dinner in a single bite.”

*GRIN*

 

Really?

sexismguideSo I’m visiting the website of a subsidiary of a rather large, long running in the history of Canada, department store that deals with housewares.

Now, the parent company’s site does a good job of being gender, and even event, agnostic.  A gift registry is exactly what it is – a gift registry for a special occasion.  They have something for everyone – although it’s real shame they got rid of their electronics department, but I digress.

So I’m looking at registering with this housewares site because there are a few things Scott and I could use especially as we go through a kitchen renovation starting soon.  Every picture on this site that’s related to the gift registry service is almost all women.  Now, you’re probably saying, “Iain, you shouldn’t be surprised because, after all it’s her day.”  Oh come on!  I have two issues:

  • It’s OUR day together, not just ‘her’ day.  You’re celebrating the union of two people who are in love, who want to share the rest of their lives together, and both need to live with the gifts they are given.
  • There’s more than just hetero-normative weddings out there!  It would be nice to see more representation of visible and invisible minorities.
  • Roles have change significantly between men and women – if you’re going to use the argument around stay-at-home mum, what about the stay-at-home dad?

Diving deeper into the site, I see the “Gift Guide, Women’s” link and decide to see what it includes, and I’m expecting something for women… Admittedly i’m not sure what that is when it comes to housewares, but you know it when you see it.

Firstly, what about “Gift Gide, Men’s”?  I would say most guys would want more than an electric shaver that happens to be on the site.

What I saw under “Gift Guide, Women’s” was what any man or woman would want.  I see lovely espresso makers, a Cuisinart Brew Central coffee maker, a mini retro popcorn maker, etc… Maybe I’m skewed, but while those are things we don’t need – we already have a Tassimo, and we don’t need a popcorn maker – I could see these items appealing to more than one gender.  Do we have a misnaming in the category?

Guys have to have their fun too, and there are many guys out there who do like to cook in the kitchen, who like good kitchenware, home décor, and appreciate good stemware.  On the flip side, I think guys should feel comfortable enough to build up and add to the registry and not be chastised for it, so let’s stop it with wedding registries being sexist.  Men, if you want that pair of 3D glasses for your man cave, a set of crystal beer mugs from Tiffany’s (we actually have these) – add them to your registry!

Given my ideology on relationships and such, I will never understand why something like a gift registry has to be so skewed towards women these days.  Yes, it made sense many years ago, however, welcome to the 21st Century.

Maybe that’s a great idea – a central registry place where anyone can go to create their own registry that allows the user to track various links to webstores, for items they are adding. I trademark this idea. 🙂